Home educating an only child: how to build friendships and keep your balance
Home educating one child has real advantages: you can go at exactly their pace, follow their interests and travel light. It also has two predictable difficulties. Your child has no built-in playmate, and you are their main company all day. Both can be solved with a little structure.
Give the week two fixed social points
One regular meet-up is good; two changes everything. Aim for the same people at the same time each week, for example a park morning on Tuesday and a club on Thursday. Children make friends through repetition, and an only child needs the repetition to come from outside the house.
Find one family and go deep
A large group can be hard work for a child used to adult company. One other family, seen every week, lets a friendship grow properly. Look for a child within a year or two of yours who lives close enough that meeting is easy. Other only children are often a very good match, because their parents are looking for the same thing.
Borrow siblings
Spend time with bigger families too. Mixed ages give an only child practice at sharing, waiting, negotiating and being the older or younger one, which are the things siblings teach each other for free.
Share the teaching
- Swap a morning a week with another family: you take both children on Monday, they take them on Wednesday.
- Pair up for a subject, such as science experiments or a book club, where two children are better than one.
- Use group classes for things that need a team: drama, sport, choir, forest school.
Swaps also give you a few hours to yourself, which matters. Being a child's only daytime company is tiring, and a rested parent teaches better.
Let them be alone, too
Only children are often good at their own company. Protect that. Reading, building and long projects are strengths, and the aim is to add friends rather than fill every hour.
When nobody seems to be nearby
Start with one conversation. Ask the librarian, the swimming teacher and the leader of any daytime session who else comes in during school hours. Then look further afield for a monthly friendship that is worth the drive, and keep a regular video call going in between.
Finding the right family
PipsVillage is a free-to-join app that shows you home-educating families near you, with their children's ages and interests. You heart the families that look like a fit; when they heart you back you can chat and plan a meet-up. Exact locations are never shown, children's names stay private, and it's adults only. If you're the first family in your town, you're the one the next family finds. Join PipsVillage free. Each card shows the children's ages, so you can look for a family with a child close to yours.
Frequently asked questions
Is it lonely to home educate an only child?
It can be without a plan. Two fixed social points a week, one close family friendship and regular time with mixed-age families solve most of it.
How do only children make friends when home educated?
Through repetition: the same children at the same meet-up or club every week. One nearby family with a child of a similar age is usually the best start.
How do I get a break when home educating one child?
Swap mornings with another family, use group classes and clubs, and pair up for subjects. A weekly swap gives both parents a few hours back.